Better Than B.S.

Because Rap Music Is Better Than Everything

“I Had A Dream That I Was Broke, Woke Up Rich…”

Posted by drmilktrain on January 9, 2009

Are we getting nostalgic for the beginning of the new millenium already?

“Crack A Bottle” Eminem feat. Dr. Dre & 50 Cent

Easily the first big superstar single to drop ’09, it can’t help but feel like it’s 10 years old…and I mean that in the worst way possible. Purposefully cartooney, knowingly obnoxious…they were aware that “My Name Is…” was not the reason anyone enjoyed The Slim Shady LP, correct?

The beat sounds like Dr. Dre attempted to score an episode of Magilla Gorilla and Em’s hook sounds like he might have taken the tune straight from some Hanna Barbera shit anyway.

The rapping’s pretty pedestrian…which is a shame given these three. Let me modify that: lyrically, flowwise, everyone fairs pretty awfully. Lyrically, however, the rapping’s pretty pedestrian. There’s not a single line from this track that sticks out, and for a trio that’s been known to offend the socks off of middle-aged, middle-classed white women, the fact that no one’s really trying to say anything…well, it’d break my heart if I cared more.

And let’s be honest. My interest in Eminem has alway been pretty par with my interest in porn after I’ve shook one. And I don’t think I’ve ever peeped a song because of a “feat. Dr. Dre” tagged on. So really, that leaves me with little to talk about other than Fif.

I’ll give Curtis the award for sounding the most comfortable on the track. It’s clear Eminem still hasn’t really figured out what he’s doing with himself now that he’s poised to be in the spotlight again. And Dr. Dre doesn’t sound out of place, but when someone else gives you your rhymes and your flow, it’s hard to sell it like it’s your own. Fifty doesn’t really say anything spectacular on the song, but I enjoyed his, pardon my French, “swag” well enough that I thought I’d peep what else he’s been up to recently.

“Get It In” 50 Cent (Produced by “Dr. Dre”)

Ah, here we go. This is more of what I suspected, the Ferrari F50 on cruise control. There’s absolutely nothing spectacular happening here. The whole chant part in the middle about drinks, the sung chorus, the Scott Storch Dr. Dre beat that was probably going to be for a Yayo or Banks album, the corny ass club brags…call those cliches vitamins, beacuse this is clearly Formula 50 (hey-yo!). 

“Heartless Monster” 50 Cent

And then there’s the 50 Cent that I absolutely love. Half of this track is him rapping. Quite well. Ignorant ass line after ignorant ass line. I don’t care how many times he drops that “Have a baby by your baby momma/ Nigga we family” line, I’ll laugh everytime. And I’m kinda glad ‘Ye outsold him, because now Fif’ll never stop taking shots at him.  

And then Fifty does what he likes to do over a lot of mixtape tracks- he stops rapping and just starts talking shit. Straight shit. When 50 realizes he’s the biggest rapping asshole in the game since Diddy ’98, the man’s untouchable. We need more of this. Now.

P.S. Eli, let me know how it feels to have Curtis shout out the Bay Area at the beginning of the track.


Bonus: For 50 just nonstop rhyming over some old 70’s songs, be sure to peep his mixtape from ’08, Sincerely Yours, Southside.


3 Responses to ““I Had A Dream That I Was Broke, Woke Up Rich…””

  1. youngtro said

    Yeah…even though I expected the first single from Em’s new album to be shite, I was secretly hoping I’d be wrong. The only thing more I’ll say about the track is that the Magilla Gorilla comparison is strangely on point.

    Also, 50 Cent being an asshole is really the only thing I find entertaining about the man most of the time, so I’ll give a tentative thumbs to Heartless Monster, though it doesn’t convince me that BISD is gonna be anywhere in the remote vicinity of good.

  2. Elijah said

    Did he shout out the Bay Area? I must’ve missed it because I’ve still NEVER heard 50 Cent’s voice without wishing I would fall the fuck asleep. He only ever had Banks along to keep him from sounding like the most bored rapper in the game.

    • drmilktrain said

      I’ll agree that there are times where 50 sounds incredibly sleepy on tracks, but 9 times out of 10 whatever lumbering production he has tends to wash out the nuance in his voice.
      There’s this mash-up mixtape from a while back Q-Unit, where all the beats were chopped up from Queen songs. It was interesting just because even on some of the more uninspired singles from his career, when the production was scaled back, he actually sounded much livlier.

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